From the recording Le Banquet des Damnés
Lyrics
Verse:
I broke my spirit on the grindstone watch the iron turn rust
Every triumph was in silence that disguised all the cuts
Tried to climb but the climate kept reminding me trust
What you sacrifice to shine might redefine what you love
Still the obstacles remind me that my sins never care
What’s divine about a diamond if it’s minted from tears
If every glisten is affliction that I’ve hidden in prayers
Then every prism is a prison where my vision impaired
I’m obsessed with the purpose but they label it pride
Boy you selfish every breath is just you chasin your rise
But the wealth that I search is just a way to survive
Still it felt like every step I took was breakin their ties
I tell myself it’s worth the loss success will heal the scars
That all this pain’s a tax I pay for reaching past the stars
But late at night I’m split in two a prisoner of art
A selfish man who risked it all as family grew apart
I rationalize with dollar signs the myth that pain redeems
But money can’t reimburse the loss I paid to live these dreams
I’m selfish I admit it stitched in seams of broken schemes
A prophet drownin in obsession I been dying for the means
I missed some weddings birthdays and funerals for my dogs
My mother’s health declines in silence and I just declined her call
They needed presence I gave passion I can’t repair the cost
Know this game dont really love me but somehow she got my heart
I buried friendships in the booth embalmed in vinyl press
Chose a beat instead of bonds in hopes of what could manifest
I sacrificed my sanity to stand where giants rest
Building castles off of losses turn to kingdoms repossessed
I’ve seen the reaper in the mirror when the hunger starved my face
I’ve seen the devil in success he tried to bargain with my faith
I told my brother hold me down he said that God don’t make mistakes
Yet even prayer can’t erase the years of moments I misplaced
Relations come to ends broken hearts I cant amend
I promised one day all this pain gon pay us back in gems
She said your one day stole my now and Im too tired to pretend
The worst part bout it all they know Id do it all again
Now time don’t offer credit back the debt’s a steep incline
I write apologies in some bars that I could never vocalize
They scroll my life online and wonder when stars align
But never felt my presence there to teach or guide they mind
I swore the dream would save us all provide a safer climb
But chasing goals turned blessings into curses redefined
If I cut the cord tonight would they recall what I gave
Or just condemn me as a coward who got lost in the grave
Every dollar every scar was just a cost to be brave
Yet my honor’s out of balance love exhausted it fades
I was gasping for compassion but they branded me vain
Every sacrifice I offered just got handed as blame
Would they cry inside the chapel or just laugh at my name
Was I dying for the family or just trapped in my pain